Manage Your Writing

This week: Use turn signals (3)

My last two "This Week" posts introduced two kinds of "turn signals," words and phrases that tell your reader what direction the next sentence is going. This week, focus on a third kind of turn signal, those that tell your reader you're about to qualify what you just said. Here are just a few:

• but
• however
• nevertheless
• on the other hand

This week, as you revise, look for places where a sentence qualifies, or shows the other side of, the previous sentence. Make sure you've given the reader a turn signal.

But remember: this is a revising tool. Don't get hung up on turn signals while you're drafting.

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(Thanks to Nancy, at Away with Words, for the link.)

Clear writing pays

The U.S. government's Plain Language site has listed some bottom-line effects of simple, clear communication. Here's just one example:

The first plain language regulation was a FCC regulation on operating ham radios. Before FCC  issued the regulation, there were five staff members answering public calls and letters with questions about the FCC's requirements for operating ham radios. Several months after FCC issued the regulation, the questions had fallen off so far that all five staff members were moved to other jobs.

(Thanks to Kim Campbell at the University of Alabama for the link.)

The time of a total stranger

Last week's passing of my fellow Hoosier Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., was a great loss to the world of writers and readers. Igor, at The Vanishing Point, reminds us that Vonnegut's eight rules for fiction writers are good advice for business writers as well. My favorite:

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

Go in peace, Kurt. You never wasted our time.

This week: Use turn signals (2)

Last Monday's "This Week" post introduced "turn signals," words and phrases that let your reader know what direction you're going next. Last week's turn signals were those that tell your reader to expect more of the same.

Today, have a look at another set of turn signals, those that tell your reader to expect a choice. This set is smaller:

• or
• alternatively
• (sometimes) on the other hand

This week, as you revise, look for ways to signal a choice to your reader. Or, even better, look for ways to give your reader more choices in the first place.

Alphabetize?

In a comment on my recent post "Be Kind," Brad, at Word Sell, asks a great question:

I'm working with a client now who has about ten bullet points, two to six words each, that describe their services. For their Web site home page, we're debating whether to list them alphabetically or in order of perceived importance. For a long list, does alphabetizing make it easier or harder on the customer?

I think alphabetizing helps in two situations:

1. When you want your readers to be able to find specific items that they're looking for. (That's, of course, why indexes are alphabetized.)
2. When you want your readers to know that the order of items is arbitrary. (That's why lists of co-authors of a book or article are often alphabetized. When co-authors aren't listed alphabetically, readers are entitled to assume that the order is deliberate, and that the first listed is probably the lead author.)

In other situations, like Brad's, I use the "audition" method. I pretend I'm in a band, auditioning for a club gig. The club owner asks us to play, say, three songs. Naturally, we play our three best. But in what order? My inclination: play our second best first, our third best in the middle, and our best last.

With more songs, of course, the decision gets harder. But in an audition, I see no reason to alphabetize. Doing so would deny us the chance to find a more effective order.

What does anyone else think?

The customer's side of the coin

Lisa, at Write2Market, advises us to write from the "customer's side of the coin." She offers a great example:

As I was shopping for furniture recently, I found this: "We've slashed prices 30% on all contemporary, transitional, and traditional bedrooms!"

Wouldn't it mean more written like this?---"Get your new bedroom for 30% less!"

When you write from the customer's perspective, you are relating to them--they do not have to relate to you. You do more work, so they can do less.

Be kind

Daphne Gray-Grant's e-mailed newsletter, Power Writing, lists five ways to be "kind" to your readers. My favorite is Number 5: Watch your order:

When I edit, I often discover that writers have presented information "out of order." That is, they tell me Point C when I really need to know Point A first. Think hard about your readers' "need to know" and be sure to define terms or explain processes at just the right time in the text.

This week: Use turn signals (1)

I use the term "turn signals" for words that tell your readers the direction the next sentence is going. They do the same job as turn signals on a car: letting the person who's following you know what you're going to do--before you do it.

The most basic turn signals are those that tell your readers that they're about to get more of the same. These include

• and
• also
• too
• moreover
• furthermore

This week, as you revise your drafts, look for ways to use this basic signal. Your readers will feel better about you. And they will help you get the results you want from your writing.

Remember that Brazilian butterfly

Almost everyone has heard of that butterfly whose flapping wings can affect distant weather. It's often labeled as Chinese, though Edward Lorenz's 1972 introduction of the concept was titled "Does the Flap of a Butterfly's Wings in Brazil Set Off a Tornado in Texas?"

The point: in a complex system, tiny causes can have huge effects.

Remember that as you revise your drafts. A small difference in how your readers respond to your first sentence can make a somewhat bigger difference in how they respond to your second sentence. And so on. So make sure your first sentence is absolutely clear, economical, and compelling.